I would like to be an atheist. But I can’t.
The reason is that I can’t look at what I see — animals, plants, the Earth, outer space — and imagine that all of it came from an immense concentration of mass and matter that came from nowhere. Granted, the idea that everything was created by any number of supernatural beings that would have had to have emerged from that same nowhere is also preposterously ridiculous in my mind, but slightly less than everything working so well without planning.
That is, however, where I get off the creationist/creation “science” thought train. That I believe that a creative force is slightly more likely than not does not mean I am ready to swallow dogma on how to live my life or what my supposed “purpose” on this planet is. In fact, that belief in Grand Creation has made me less likely to ever accept deity-centered religion again, though I don’t see myself becoming a Buddhist any time soon either.
For whatever it’s worth, I would consider my beliefs a combination of dystheism and agnostic theism. Here’s why.
Atheism, as you know, means “a belief in no God”. Many atheists I have met, heard or read argue that in light of the bare reality they see, the God of the Bible, the “all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful and benevolent” God, cannot possibly exist. I agree. However, many atheists go on to then conclude there is no God. I, on the other hand, simply believe that particular image of God cannot exist.
I used to be a deist, believing in a distant creator (or consortium of creators; I saw no reason to say there was only one) who left it for humanity to discover how the world works. That changed one night about a year ago. As I was laying in bed, I realized that if humanity has the capacity to figure out Creation, to discover why the cosmos works the way it does, to rid the world of disease and famine, it would have had to have been placed there by some Creator. That in turn means that self-same Entity would have had the ability not to have allowed people to feel sorrow and suffer, but for whatever reason, chose to anyway.
Furthermore, that would mean if there was exactly one Entity responsible for Creation, as Judaism, Christianity and Islam would have you believe, He would have to be responsible for everything, since by their beliefs, He is omnipotent. If He is also omniscient as they claim, then he would, by definition, already know the fate of mankind. So all of mankind’s “sins” all the way back to the “Original Sin” of Adam and Eve, would have to have been Foreseen. All of His rules and commandments could have easily been rooted in human nature, yet most believers will readily tell you about man’s capacity to disobey God. God could have turned down the hormones in humanity, easily made pigs “clean” (or not created them at all), or given humanity a definite idea which religion (and which strain within the religion) to follow. In other words, the Abrahamic God seems to want worshipers to use their free will — the free will He gave them – but not use it. If man “fell” eating off The Tree of Life Knowledge, he was destined to fall.
To put that another way, if God is either all-powerful or all-knowing, let alone both, he cannot possibly be completely benevolent.
However, atheism and monotheism are not the only two alternatives. I could perhaps accept, for example, that other deities were causing humans the troubles they face and a “merciful” God was saving to help humanity from the suffering more malevolent Beings were causing or leading humans toward.
If there were multiple gods of comparable power ruling the Universe, I would have a lot less trouble believing that (at least) one of them was on humanity’s side, saving people from the malevolence of other deities. If Christianity was a henotheistic religion or even a religion based on monolatry rather than being purely monotheistic, I would have a lot less trouble believing many of the things Christians and others of Abrahamic faiths claim their representation of God is. Unfortunately, the insistence that the Devil/Satan/Lucifer/Beelzebub/etc. is no more than at best a (very powerful) fallen angel eliminates that possibility. I’d argue it makes it worse: If God has the power to eliminate the Devil and help his supposedly precious humans, why doesn’t He do it? If the answer is “it’s part of His plan”, then humans are little more than some supernatural being’s playthings. (If you get comfort from the belief “God is in control”, very well; just don’t expect me to.)
I could go on, but I think my point is clear: If there is one and only one Supreme Being with all other supernatural entities being less powerful, dystheism (and perhaps something close to, but not exactly, misotheism) is my only logical recourse. If there are multiple deities, then humanity may be lucky enough to have at least one that could be considered wholly good… but not necessarily.
It honestly makes me somewhat happy and relieved I don’t have any set notion on the origins of existence, especially given some of the tenets of the faiths that are out there.
But I really wish I could be an atheist.
Opinion religion
Just a minor thing I noticed you say the Tree of life for that was part of the fall, I belive that you mean the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
**grumble**
I get a degree in Religious Studies, you’d think I’d get that right. Thanks, Phil.
I found a book that tackels this issue if you are interested it is “If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil” by Randy Alcorn. He appeared on Family life radio this week and tackels this issue I think he does it very effectivly.